Dilbertesque attempt #2

The Manager goes to the security guard.

MANAGER
Hey Boss, Can you give me a laxative.

SECURITY MAN
Sir, I am not your boss.

MANAGER
When I want to keep my conversation very short,I use the word "boss.", you fool.

SECURITY GUARD
Sir, you can get laxatives in the medical shop.We keep first aid medicines and paracetamol here.We dont keep laxatives.Why dont you go home for purge?
(pause)
By the way, I use the word "buffoon", if an employee uses laxatives to stimulate evacuation of bowels at office.

MANAGER
Really? I can fire you , if you talk like that.

The security guard points his rifle.

SECURITY GUARD
(very stylish american accent)
So can I.

The shapely RECEPTIONIST winks at the security guard.

RECEPTIONIST
You are my hero.

The manager goes to the medical shop to buy the laxative.

INT. CUBICLE - DAY

The SOFTWARE ENGINEER is typing a size 48 font size "WELCOME", on slide #1, on a Microsoft PowerPoint Presentation.The phone rings.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Hello ?

GIRL's VOICE
Hi techie, Would you like to buy a Manhattan Credit Card ?

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
How do you know I am a techie ?

GIRL's VOICE
All techies are stupid, boring males....

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
I will buy your credit card, but on one condition.
If your company buys our software , I will buy your credit card.

GIRL's VOICE
What software do you guys write ?

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Stepper motor Software..

A slam of the phone is heard.

The Software Engineer resumes writing his presentation on "Effective techniques to write bug free Programs".

Another phone ring is heard.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Hallo ?

MANAGER
I have powdered the laxative and put it in the coffee machine.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Great! So shall I bring Dr.Reddy for coffee.

MANAGER
Sure, but first, I have to offer the coffee to a security guard.We have some unfinished business.


EXT. SOMETIME LATER - DAY

Dr.REDDY is a 40-ish man , very conscious of his appearance.Grey hair at the sides, casual Tee-shirts and jeans.

He walks along with the Software Engineer and the Manager, bragging his history.

Dr.REDDY
Before getting promoted to an astronaut, I was a Software Engineer just like you.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
I didnt know this sir!

Dr.REDDY
But I was a very curious one....I experimented with all kinds of Software, I was brilliant!

MANAGER
Thats really great sir!

Dr.REDDY
We didnt have these Pentium Machines then. I wrote a whole database system using only 1s and 0s. Before that I wrote a compiler using only 0s.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Wow! We have a genius with us.....You are a role model.

Dr.REDDY
I used to take HUGE coffee breaks whenever I achieved a short term goal or when I solved a bug.
(proudly)
And to this day, I keep that habit!

MANAGER
We are privileged to have a legend with us, sir.Can we have some coffee.

Dr.REDDY
Sure!

To be continued