Friday, July 30, 2004

moti chinkis

alas !!!! atlast I found two chinki fat babes .. ( fat = manisha koirala) .. ever since i landed on the soils of the dreamland .. (dreamland .. commentable ) ..it was very hard to spot a chinki babe ( i know fat doesnt qualify for a babe) whose fat .. okies a chinki girl .. nor a chink guy.. the fattest guy i have seen till now wud be tejus size ... sorry correction ..teju when i left india ..

chinks r superior to indians atelast in this sense .. they never will grow fat ... which helps them having a great figure through out their life. no wonder !!!! sandeep had a chinki fetish ....

godd u r so partial ..

okies need to type in some more DOCS ....
tata

mujse shadi karoge ..

welllllll .. the silver screen has finally rolled up for mujse shaadi karoge ......
but for a bollywood fan sitting in seattle desperately waiting for a bollywood flick ..
rediff.com doesnt provide encouraging words .. ( guess they are busy with "wish sanju uncle "stuff) .. the review is from a cynic critic .. :(((((((((( which I am not ..
it just gets two chars in my mind .. teju .. and papanna.. ( papanna incase of bollywood ) ;-) ;-)
saangliyana ..

so...for the solution ..i tried indiafm.com .. they have rated the movie 4* :) :) ..and have sleazy itsy bitsy pics also .. yummy ..
now thats kinda review which puts in enthu to get me going to the theater.....
well so me off  this weekend and ask 'mujhse shaadi karogi' to priyanka ..
( hope someones not reading this ;-) )

well whoever made the idea 'wish sanju uncle' .. i never thought there are really users who would wish that .. i am jsut thinking of the manager who approved this concept..to be solidified .. hes really smart ..he knows there are a lot of dumb asses in this world ..

Click here to Wish Sanjay Dutt !!!

Sometimes we come across "Idiotic stuff" in the web.
like a link which says "CLICK HERE! Wish Sanjay Dutt on his birthday".

Forget Sanjay Dutt looking at your hearty wishes
to his birthday and replying back to you with a
smile :-)), but I am thinking about the guy
who came up with this 'cool' idea of giving such a
link on a site like rediff.

I mean, which senseless moron will:-

1)Actually fill out a dumb motherfwkin' registration form
Type the password two times and all that shit.

2)Fill out the email address in the form,and wait to get an
get an acknowledgement email.We are apprehensive to give our
email addresses.Why ?First of all, we have
spam coming from thousands of people, all over the world
who are concerned about our @##$S and want to give us
enlargement pills and red lingerie and want us to send flowers
to our aunts in Switzerland.

3)then follow the link to complete the registration
Because they want non-bogus people(with non bogus ids)
to wish Sanjay Dutt

4)Then type his heart out for Sanjay Dutt to wish for
his birthday.

5)Sanjay Dutt will see it and reply to him.
My @$$.

I dont wnt to believe that such things actually work out.
Please gimme a BREAK.
But everybody's making money.Rediff gets its ad sponsors.

Those ad-sponsors guys are people with 13 year old sons and
daughters who ACTUALLY BELIEVE that Sunju Uncle will read
their wishes.

So is that guy who made this concept a dumb fuck or
is he making a fool out of everyone here ?

Hayyo! Yen lifo...artha ne aagalla.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Hmmm...

WHOM you are referring to when you are
talking about the xxx thing.
Maybe someone we know or care 'bout.
We'll take this offline.

It's 9:15 and on a very pleasant fryday.
The lunch is preponed here at 12 in the afternoon coz'
we are having the BUM meeting.That's what it is called.BUM.
A business unit meeting.We get free beer.
Not free as in freedom.Just plain Free as in Free Beer.

Gd, they serve your favorite
beer at the BUM. ;-)

status == Waiting for the BUM.

Poor Girl

Two willows and a ball or a willow and two balls

I know India is passionate abt cricket.. its rabid over there .. but never thot indians who move to US will wake up till 2 am in the morning to c who will bat or bowl .. and shockingly just watch cricinfo.com .. whose pages at times are stale as old meat .. ( yeah i eat chicken pretty regularly now..someones trying me to PUSH me towards fish tooo .. i heard fish improves ur brain ..let me try okay .. ;-) )

now the whole point is ..if the match started at 9-10pm .. say .. wud they miss sex for cricket .. shudnt we be suing the cricket team for this .. now i know ..no one leaves sex  ... but there are these maniacs .. who can leave their willows using two balls ..to watch two willows hitting a single ballllllll.... GODD cricket used to drive me crazy .. now crazy guys drive me crazy ..

one mans craze is another mans ............. ( fill up the blanks ..

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Dr.Raaj

So Telgi boy is in the news again.

Telgi
If you like capsicum bonda, look at my nose.



We all know that our matinee hero anna-avaru went to
the forest and stayed with his close pal Veerappan there.
He went trekking in the forest.He got bit by leeches.
He killed elephants and took ivory.He wiped his mouth
and umm everything using leaves.Then one day they were
discussing strategies to improve the forest.

Raja .
Oru Core Competency Group create panninge.Nee raja...naa veera

Rajkumar had enuff came back!
But somebody had paid a whopping TWENTY CRORE
rupees for his release.

Who paid for the release ? The list is as follows :-

The then Chief Minister S M Krishna,
His son-in-law Siddharth,
then ministers Mallikarjun Kharge,
D K Shivakumar and Roshan Baig,
Rajkumar’s sons Shivaraj, Raghavendra and Puneet Rajkumar,
Telgi
Inspector General of Police T Jayaprakash

These were involved in the entire affair and the ransom money
was taken from Bangalore to Chennai where it was handed over
to actor Rajnikanth’s manager.

So therefore it was a big release.I think bigger
than any Windows XP release(in bangalore) youve heard of.

More maja here.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

WagSeh

Yesterday i woke up as they started off with the crackers...
"Okay so India has won :-)", i thought and pulled up the rug
and I slept.
Sehwag-ki-ma was a delight yesterday!

I couldnt see the whole match.But they do throw in some surprises.
Our murali boy was not there.His granny passed away so he had gone to pay his
homage there.

murali

Loafer nann makla finals ge bandideera...nodkotheeni

He will be there in the finals.

Dravid is a stubborn guy who doesnt want to be a keeper.
I cant understand why he is making so much fuss to be a keeper.
He can just say "dial 123 on your Hutch phone and get Live! updates"
and play guitar like a dumb-ass.
Parthiv Patel can be a model for Farex / I love you rasna ad.

The finals are there.Get excited.If you cant get excited,
I cant help it.

Now, I go...
Tut-ah.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Bollywood Item numbers

Bollywood Item numbers have a modern history,I suppose.
Ofcourse the ancestors of Bollywood Item numbers are the
CABARETS.

Helen was the catty vamp who used to do cabarets during those
days while Y.Jayanthi_mala(i know her correct spelling)
catered to the heroes and his family members like
munna,munni,chaachi,chaacha, tommy the pomoranian.

Helen was seen with the hunks in the clubs and she was seen with
a skin head who always played cards.The hero and heroine
were secretly dressed to discover the villian's underworld activities,
and they shaked a leg or two in the cabarets.She almost always had a
blonde wig.Teesri Manzil(1965+) was a typical example of this
cabaret kinda stuff.

And after that the heroes got bored.The villians were stylish,
they got all the enjoyable r*pe scenes and then they danced with
Helen while these guys were unable to conceal their true desires
for a long time and they got tired of praising decent girls
like Nutan , Nargis,Jaya Bahaduri, etc. (I heard Nutan had
acted in a "good" movie.I am not sure/interested).
They had to dance with these girls around trees etc.Even the monkeys
on the trees felt sympathetic for these guys.

Then came the WET SAREE dances.The hero enjoyed himself.
The heroine danced like never before.
They danced like two gorillas during their mating season.
There was privacy and romance and innuendos.
Wet saree songs....

i love you ->mr.india
tip tip barsa paani->mohra
aaj rapat jaaye to hume utayyo-Amitabh's movie.
and more recently...
On the roof, in the rain -> Vivek Oberoi,Lara Dutta.

Then the producers invented the concept of ITEM-NUMBERS.
The naming is ridiculous.Why the HECK do you call it an *item* number.
But item-numbers take place in clubs and discotheques.
And they are different from wet saree sequences, because
there is no scope for privacy here.
You just shed everything and dance....Exhibitionism was gaining popularity.
"Open air" item numbers are very rare.

I dont know if anybody goes to the movies to see item-numbers.
It's really debatable and i surely dont.
But one sure-shot way of creating news and getting to the moranis'
dance shows , and making QUICK money is by item numbers.
Heroines do that. You doubt it? I'll name them.

Let me remember some of the item numbers :-

1)Babuji zara dheere chalo-Bijli kadi hai-(Yana Gupta)
2)Tu cheez badi hai mast mast-(Raveena Tandon)
3)Mehboob mere mehboob mere - (Sushmita sen)
4)Ishq Kameena -(Aishwarya rai)
5)Humma Humma -(sonali bendre)
6) UP, Bihar loot ne (Shilpa Shitty)

Many more...I am just too bored to recollect them.
But my favorite item number as far as the MUSIC is concerned is
Tu Cheez badi hai mast mast.Whatta song!
That was from Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's Dum Mast Kalander Mast Mast.
As far as the INTENT of item number is concerned,Yana gupta
is a goddess!She is from (pardon the spelling)"Czechoslavakia"

But the truth is that, the MTV remix-songs are becoming more like Item numbers
and Item numbers are becoming more like those MTV remix songs.
Remix songs are usually done by Baby Doll or her friend Sugar Spice.
DJ Aqeel is tolerable.I hope both of them just get the hell out of TV or
it's time we get out of TV.

Everytime it is the same thing which every1 wants....."Variety".
I want something else.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

What do you do ...

...when on a monday morning you come and discover ....
THERE ARE ABSOULTELY NO MAILS i your MAILBOX ???!!!!

Oh the horror!!!
If you dont have any mails or messages on your cellphone
you begin to feel less important more laidback.

The phone doesnt ring.
You get tired...The only refresh you can think is
sitting in front of your computer and press F5 or
click Send/Receive messages.

I wanted to see spiderman-2 on the weekend and I ended
up seeing a movie called Julie in plaza.
Reason:-
2 theatres had spidey and both of them were housefull.

In cartoons, many villians are created by "FREAK ACCIDENTS".
Check out the villians in spidey.GreenGoblin and Doc Ock.
Both the green goblin and doc ock are created by freak accidents.
Check out the villians in Batman.Cat Woman, King Tut etc...
The best part about cartoon villians is that they are much
are colorful than the heroes themselves.

Julie
NEHA
Yes.I play Julie.

Julie got released on July 22.
Neha Dhupia plays the lead actress.She looks good....
thats it.Her dialog delivery is bad.She cannot look like
a prostitute (thats her role in the movie).I think
Kareena kappor looked like one in chameli.
But Neha does look "moronic" I think the guy who did the casting
realized that.The role Julie requires a moronic girl who becomes
a prostitute because "the situation made her that"(i know you guessed it).

Other than that India lost to Pakistan.
It had to happen.Now the tension b/w India Pak matches are gone.
Probably after some time they may resume.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Images

Trying out html images....I dunno good html :-))

funny?I dont know
Wow! the pig is really laughing...This is cool-ass


Thursday, July 22, 2004

Chivalry

Are there still chivalrous people out there.
"Gentlemen" sort of people...
I doubt it...I agree women have to be respected BUT ONLY
the same amount as much as a man has to be respected....
Nothing moure or less....
Ofcourse at periods of pregnancy and maternity, women deserve respect...with all humility,i agree
But other than that....no way!

A woman who claims 2 B INDEPENDENT and expects
chivalry is a true FAKE.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Killer calls!

A rumour has spread rapidly in the commercial capital, Lagos, that if one answers calls from certain "killer numbers" then one will die immediately

This is simply too much!



Monday, July 19, 2004

Senseless and Idiotic.

I hate Bangalore traffic.
I hate even my style of driving.
Just aiming your vehicle in the gap and blasting your way through.

I just cant understand why autodrivers are such bad drivers.
Wait a minute ...I think I have an answer.
It's got to do with the goddamn design of the auto.

Blame it on the handle of the auto.Ofcourse you cannot have a steering for a three wheeler.
But an auto's ass is so fat that the driver always underestimates the ass of an auto
to it's front "nose" and voila! we have confusion.
The auto looks like a nosy buffon who wants to poke into everybody's business.
Besides that we have numerous status messages written on the rear.
"amma", "tande thaayiya ashirwada", "hello aunty", or fotos of bollywood heroes,
The most popular of them are :- sunju baba, salman khan, shahrukh khan, and uppi to
some extent.

And we have the frogs - the green small cars like santros and maruthis
and their impatient owners who think it is because of everybody ELSE that there is a jam
in the road.

Phew....After a long arduous journey i am back here.
But the best part is if we make up our mind and make a challenge that
NOBODY, i repeat , can bother us and I am the master of my driving and YOU
cannot comment on my driving skills we will be happy and drive along any place.

Adios.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Poo

Sunday at office with udp client bombing is a great way
to spend the weekend....

No cable TV too...

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Matricks ?

Q : Which is the next movie by Larry Wachowski, the creator of the Matrix trilogy ?


Answer:
Dominatrix !!

Here's a foto of the
mistress

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Invisible

This is one movie i would love to watch.
I think the psyche of an invisible person has been captured very well...
The promos and Antara Mali looks awesome.

But the truth is and invisible man will be blind....
and he can be invisible after the food has gone inside...

Memoirs of an invisible man
convinced us of all these realities.
And opened up SOME scientific aspects of these.

But apart from the science, i find the concept really exciting.
I have a dozen of MUST-DO things when i become invisible.

Our mr.india wasnt bad either.

Hollow man was really shallow and screwed up in this genre of film making.

Ofcourse the hazaar B-grade bhooth movies also exploit this concept very well.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Existen$@# Whatever !

Why the hell did man start to think.It would have been better to be in
the caves eating bananas and drawing something on the wall and jumping
around everywhere.Now we go TREKKING to do that.

Phew!

I am TIRED of philosophy,Computer Science and the likes of July 2004.
Everybody have their own idea of life.Just like Ramu or Shamu or Nietzsche
or who's that guy ummm Bertrand Russel or that Yogi that some crazy guys meet
on the himalayas.

Let us look into the META aspect of it.
Why do people give fundas?
( I hate this word funda but I want to remove my hatred by using it often).

Stepping into an anthropologist's shoes , I can think of one answer
rejection.

Failure is another reason.
Failure is very generic and it is a bloody state of mind.
You wont think about failure when you are bored.

Another reason people give fundas is because they have learnt something from
their experience and the human nature is ...if you have fu--ed up and learnt
the lesson once on a concept or the way you handled a situation they think
they are the absolute masters of that concept/situation.
The saddest part is that each moron on this planet is different from another.
Everyone is unique just like the rest of us.

Actually by writing so much, I forgot what I wanted to convey.
Anyway on second thoughts all this looks like fundas to me.
Confused and dazed!
That's how life goes on

BYE BYE

Monday, July 12, 2004

Interesting.

Now href="http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2004/06/30/drug_may_offer_aphrodisiac_for_women/">SMALL TALK
may not be restricted just to men.Hey I am not taking OO here!

But one thing I cant understand is scientists can understand the impulse of female
RATS but I dont know will they will ever understand the XX Homo Sapiens species!

Let's leave it for the scientists to figure it out.

I was reading Nietzsche this morning.I think he is one crazy angry moron.
"Philosopher with a hammer" - thats the title he's acquired.I think it is Bull.
If you are depressed he makes you feel hopeless.
Thats the time you got to read goody goody Dale Carnegie and other self help books.
Simplicity is the key-Dionysius or Overman or whoever is too complex when you are
depressed.

If he were in the 70s or 80s or even 90s probably he would be in a band like
"cannibal corpse" or "obituary" .If he were a software engineer he would be blogging his ass out.If he were a manager , hmmmmmm actually I have never seen
angry managers.I have seen only wise-guy managers.

Hey is this news true ?

Thursday, July 08, 2004

GRUNGE

Now this was the "Web definition of grunge".
------------------------------------------------
The label applied to a rock form featuring distorted guitars, whining vocals and
flannel-shirt-wearing band members. Popularized by and associated primarily with
Seattle bands such as Nirvana and Alice in Chains

I thought that the music band GARBAGE was essentially grunge.
I dont know whether it is a separate genre by itself , though.

There is a basic melancholy and a cynical look at life if you check out
the lyrics.Although it is cynical, it conveys the gloom with real
simple lyrics...like
"I am sad" or "You want somebody who doesnt want you" or "No i dont have a gun" or "I am so ugly" , "You can keep me company as long as you don't care".

The guitars arent very clear.You dont have the 'clear twang' in the string.
mmmm...let me say it they go "whyoww whyoww".....Distortions are
really there and they are yes! distorted!.

The videos too.They are obscure and a crude mix of
pretty young things , unshaven dudes with dirty jeans almost falling,
blood , cigarettes , couch potato-ennui.

The artistes are young and pissed off at everything...

Have you have seen these videos ....You'll know what i am trying
to say!

"Come as you are" ,
"Heart Shaped Box" ,
"Black Hole Sun" from sound garden,
"I am only happy when it rains" from Garbage
"Sweet Dreams are made of these" by MARILYN MANSON not Eurhythmics!

A typical grunge lyrics of
"Im only happy when it rains".

I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
And why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me

I'm only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad sad songs
I'm only happy when it rains

I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didn't accidentally tell you that
I'm only happy when it rains
You'll get the message by the time I'm through
When I complain about me and you
I'm only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
You can keep me company as long as you don't care

I'm only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains

Pour some misery down on me

------------------------------
Comments please!

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

The Very First Posting

Blogging.

It is nirvana when you want to type something
and get away with your stupid thoughts!

Random thoughts and insane mumblings.
aum........

I just love it sometimes.

This is just a TEST BLOG.

Are you listening :- TEST BLOG. TEST BLOG. TEST BLOG. TEST BLOG.

Oops i like my Copy and Paste Skills!