Bollywood Item numbers

Bollywood Item numbers have a modern history,I suppose.
Ofcourse the ancestors of Bollywood Item numbers are the
CABARETS.

Helen was the catty vamp who used to do cabarets during those
days while Y.Jayanthi_mala(i know her correct spelling)
catered to the heroes and his family members like
munna,munni,chaachi,chaacha, tommy the pomoranian.

Helen was seen with the hunks in the clubs and she was seen with
a skin head who always played cards.The hero and heroine
were secretly dressed to discover the villian's underworld activities,
and they shaked a leg or two in the cabarets.She almost always had a
blonde wig.Teesri Manzil(1965+) was a typical example of this
cabaret kinda stuff.

And after that the heroes got bored.The villians were stylish,
they got all the enjoyable r*pe scenes and then they danced with
Helen while these guys were unable to conceal their true desires
for a long time and they got tired of praising decent girls
like Nutan , Nargis,Jaya Bahaduri, etc. (I heard Nutan had
acted in a "good" movie.I am not sure/interested).
They had to dance with these girls around trees etc.Even the monkeys
on the trees felt sympathetic for these guys.

Then came the WET SAREE dances.The hero enjoyed himself.
The heroine danced like never before.
They danced like two gorillas during their mating season.
There was privacy and romance and innuendos.
Wet saree songs....

i love you ->mr.india
tip tip barsa paani->mohra
aaj rapat jaaye to hume utayyo-Amitabh's movie.
and more recently...
On the roof, in the rain -> Vivek Oberoi,Lara Dutta.

Then the producers invented the concept of ITEM-NUMBERS.
The naming is ridiculous.Why the HECK do you call it an *item* number.
But item-numbers take place in clubs and discotheques.
And they are different from wet saree sequences, because
there is no scope for privacy here.
You just shed everything and dance....Exhibitionism was gaining popularity.
"Open air" item numbers are very rare.

I dont know if anybody goes to the movies to see item-numbers.
It's really debatable and i surely dont.
But one sure-shot way of creating news and getting to the moranis'
dance shows , and making QUICK money is by item numbers.
Heroines do that. You doubt it? I'll name them.

Let me remember some of the item numbers :-

1)Babuji zara dheere chalo-Bijli kadi hai-(Yana Gupta)
2)Tu cheez badi hai mast mast-(Raveena Tandon)
3)Mehboob mere mehboob mere - (Sushmita sen)
4)Ishq Kameena -(Aishwarya rai)
5)Humma Humma -(sonali bendre)
6) UP, Bihar loot ne (Shilpa Shitty)

Many more...I am just too bored to recollect them.
But my favorite item number as far as the MUSIC is concerned is
Tu Cheez badi hai mast mast.Whatta song!
That was from Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's Dum Mast Kalander Mast Mast.
As far as the INTENT of item number is concerned,Yana gupta
is a goddess!She is from (pardon the spelling)"Czechoslavakia"

But the truth is that, the MTV remix-songs are becoming more like Item numbers
and Item numbers are becoming more like those MTV remix songs.
Remix songs are usually done by Baby Doll or her friend Sugar Spice.
DJ Aqeel is tolerable.I hope both of them just get the hell out of TV or
it's time we get out of TV.

Everytime it is the same thing which every1 wants....."Variety".
I want something else.