A very Dilbertesque attempt.

Tried a dilbert below :-



The performance review starts and the software engineer adjusts his tie.

SE
(narration VO)

In the early days, men and knights of strength and valor, wore striped ties and smeared their tie with their opponents' blood using the swords after killing the opponent.That explains the allignment of the stripes.That was ths significance of the stripes and the culture of stripe ties..Nowadays the striped ties are worn during the performance appraisal.I am about to face the battle for this quarter.
Lets get back to reality.


The Manager and the software engineer enter the room.
The engineer closes the door.

The MANAGER flashes the customary smile.

MANAGER
Please sit down.

The Engineer sits down.

The Manager clears his throat and starts off.

MANAGER
Your performance can be described as "simian".

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Thanks :-) I am feeling on top of a tree!

MANAGER
Hahaha....How do you consider this as a compliment ?

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Since our business is nothing but "monkey business", I would love to have a simian performance for my appraisal.

MANAGER
(as a matter of fact-ed ly)
Look this is no time for monkey tricks.
Lets get to what we have done,this quarter.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Allright.

MANAGER
Begin with what you did this quarter.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
I wrote the stepper motor software which unrolls the toilet paper for the astronauts for the Moon-Moon spaceship project.

MANAGER
(sighs heavily, adjusts his specs)
Actually I have some doubts on this project. Who suggested this idea ?

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
It was your brain child.I think you roped this project after convincing the Moon-Moon Project Manager about our core competency in stepper motor.

MANAGER
(suspiciously)
Allright. So when is the testing supposed to start ?

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
I have done the unitary testing which ensures that the stepper motor unrolls at a uniform rotational speed.I used Rotational Mechanics Principles.

MANAGER
Okay.I have asked the test team to come up with the test plan. But they didnt oblige because they dont know how to test this.They said they were actually testing the Moon-Moon spaceship itself.
Some button on the spaceship is malfunctioning.....I am just confused. How do we test your component ?

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
How about giving some laxatives to astronauts and putting them in a 0 gravity state in the Moon-Moon simulator, and testing our software ?

MANAGER
Sounds like a great idea.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Then give me a good grade for my performance appraisal.

MANAGER
Surely, I will.But I guess we need to buy some laxatives first , for the astronauts and put some in their floor's coffee machine. They will gladly oblige for the tests later.


SOFTWARE ENGINNER
Whom shall we call ?

MANAGER
We will persuade Dr.Reddy for drinking laxative concentrated coffee and later bring him to our test chamber.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER.
So what grade do I get ?

MANAGER
B+

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Thank you.

To be continued.....