Wednesday, December 20, 2006


Okay I have been accused that I am not evolved* on the blank noise project
by one such blogger.Okay, I am feeling like Prem Chopra now :-)))

I realise that the intentions of the project are noble.
But when it comes to "staring" I differ.

Let me clarify folks, by "eve teasing" I exclusively referred to "staring" of people NOT any other physical contact or some kind of harassment.

Staring can be caused because of many cases.These are the following :-

a) "Staree Z" wants a "Starer X" to notice.
And some other "Starer Y" else notices and passes a remark to Z causing mental torture to Z.

Whose mistake is it ?

b) "Staree Z" doesnt want "Starer Y" to notice
There are two cases here :-

Case 1 : If Y is a daydreamer who is in the perpetual habit of staring things while getting lost in thought, and his intention was not to cause discomfort, it is not his mistake

Case 2: If Y purposefully wanted to stare, which may be some kind of offense (yes I completely agree with it).However, here everything depends on the way a Staree handles her/him in this situation. I like analogies. To give an analogy here :-

You have a diamond necklace you want to wear to a party which catches immediate attention.There are 10 robbers on the road who will snatch it if they see it. It is your responsibility to either wear a sweatshirt and walk across to the party or take a gamble with the robbers.What will you do ? Will you make a propoganda to the robbers about your rights of wearing a diamond necklace? .

I may sound caustic, but it is the truth.

*Note 1 : On a lighter side, Speaking of evolution, We call apes as "apes".But just stop and think who evolved from whom and who is aping whom ?

*Note 2 : On a lighter side, Pink Floyd's lyrics like this will be meaningless :-

Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me.
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand
The best I can.


Sridhar said...

>> Will you make a propoganda to the robbers about your rights of wearing a diamond necklace?

Hmm...this is where it's different right? A diamond necklace is an object, a woman isn't. Hence the reason for the blame to be shared in the case of the diamond robber, but no such sharing in the case of a woman being harassed.

So I guess that analogy doesn't hold.

But you are right about Case 1.

sudeep said...

no analogy of diamond necklace was to a dress not the girl herself...I think a dress gets immediate attention of lookers rather than the girl herself....And "different dresses" are the ones which likely get stares...

So, my arg was, if you dress differently for whatever reason (to get immediate attention or to dress your true attitude), be prepared to handle stares/ acknowledgements/comments/responses it EVEN when it comes from some sources which you don't want....

So, a kind of (awareness + responsibilty) on the girl is also important.And a moral responsibilty for a guy is also necessary....

But since I have never known any girl who has been eve-teased, maybe my views are not broad...Still...I think It is not totally the guy's fault (all the time)

Secondly, it is weird to be stopped on the road and handed a pamplet saying me not to stare just because I looked at someone...

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